Microsoft Zune Music Player

Have you ever thought that some tech companies occasionally invest more brainpower in naming their products than in making them successful? You’re not the only one who thinks so. The digital age has been dotted with many a disappointing product that had a tragically awesome name; here are ten of our favorites in no particular order.

Microsoft’s Zune, before its name was made public, was known among gadget geeks as simply the “iPod killer.” And you’ve got to admit, Redmond didn’t do that bad a job of actually naming the device once it got around to it–”Zune” is kind of funky in a post-Star Trek way, right? Unfortunately, as many speculated, the music player was a sales disappointment despite decent reviews. Even opening day interest was tepid, and it probably didn’t help much that the announcement of the sales of one million Zunes came right around the same time that Apple celebrated the sale of its hundred millionth iPod.

Ginger electric scooter

It was supposed to change the world, revolutionize transportation, and even reinvent urban planning as we know it. It is, of course, the Segway, but once it was known by the sexier codename of “Ginger.” The name of the “gliding” electric scooter was actually a reference to actress Ginger Rogers, famed as Fred Astaire’s regular onscreen dance partner, but it also (naturally) carries connotations of the voluptuous, seductive Gilligan’s Island siren. Talk about a moniker that would get the fanboys talking.

Unfortunately, the Segway itself never lived up to the hype. Sure, there are some hardcore fans, and the Segway featured prominently on the beloved sitcom “Arrested Development,” but the general public just hasn’t caught onto it. Some blame high prices, others just don’t want to be seen riding the somewhat awkward scooters around. Additionally, some local and regional governments have legislated against the Segway, claiming that it’s a road hazard. The company has also had to institute multiple recalls.

Some loyalists are still holding out on the possibility that it still might change the world, but right now, the Segway is still probably best-known as eccentric Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak’s polo mount of choice.

iTunes enabled Motorola Rokr

Before there was the iPhone, there was the iTunes-enabled Rokr cell phone from Motorola–but Apple would probably rather that you, in the words of Tony Soprano, fuhgeddaboutit. Unveiled alongside the original iPod Nano in September 2005, the Rokr was a partnership between Apple and Motorola to create a cell phone that could play songs purchased from the iTunes Store. It even had a slick name inspired by the runaway success of Motorola’s iconic Razr cell phone.

Unfortunately, the original Rokr–which could hold only a hundred songs–frankly kind of blew. Customer complaints soared and the device sold poorly. Luckily, Apple didn’t replicate the embarrassment with the iPhone.

The Original LG Chocolate

On the subject of disappointing cell phones with tasty names, here’s the original LG Chocolate. The trendy, music-player-like phone was synched with Verizon’s much-hyped V-Cast mobile media service and was equipped with GPS features and a decent camera?considered a rival to Motorola’s hip phones as well as others from carriers like Helio.

Unfortunately, customer feedback indicated that it just didn’t work all that well, and though sales of the Chocolate have been decent, many owners were left with a sugary hangover.

Nokia N-Gage Mobile Gaming

Remember the ‘taco phone?’ Yeah, that was the Nokia N-Gage. It had a clever name, for sure. The awkwardly designed handheld gaming console was launched in 2003 as a rival to Nintendo’s then-top-notch Game Boy Advance. Nokia’s advantage? There was a cell phone built in. Unfortunately, talking on the phone required awkwardly turning the device sideways so that it resembled a taco held to one’s ear. The N-Gage wasn’t just a disappointment, it was an outright flip.

Nokia revamped the awkward handheld in 2004, dropping the “side-talking” and shaving a few bucks off the price, but the “taco phone” reputation had unfortunately stuck.

Sega Dreamcast Console

Video game company Sega has had a few disappointing pieces of hardware that still had pretty names?like the Dreamcast. When the original PlayStation and Nintendo 64 were the dominant forces in the market, the Dreamcast hit U.S. shores in 1999 and experienced strong initial sales as it was released well ahead of similar consoles like the PlayStation 2 and Xbox. Unfortunately, it didn’t keep that upper edge.

Just as amateur music historians like to say that Nirvana killed hair metal (until Guitar Hero resuscitated it, that is), the release of Sony’s PlayStation 2 in 2000 proved to be what put the Dreamcast to sleep. Sega hasn’t made another console since.

Audrey PC-less Web browsing

Back in 2000, electronics manufacturer 3Com released a device that was supposed to make the Internet a whole lot friendlier: “Audrey.” The PC-less Web browsing appliance, which had an 8-inch screen, came in shades like “linen,” “meadow,” “ocean,” “slate,” and “sunshine,” offered television-like “channels” with news and weather.  

Microsoft Origami Mobile PC

‘Origami’ is a pretty word. And Microsoft might have had a pretty idea when it came up with the concept for its Origami ultra-mobile PC (UMPC) software, which uses an interface that splits a QWERTY keyboard into two arcs on either side of the touch screen. Innovative, sure.

But the UMPC phenomenon simply hasn’t sparked much interest among consumers, and now that smart phones like RIM’s BlackBerry and Apple’s iPhone have been able to replicate the computing experience on a mobile device like never before, the outlook is looking even bleaker. Even hard-core gadget aficionados, it seems, don’t have much interest in toting around a device that looks like something the UPS guy would carry.

Apple Newton MessagePad

No list of disappointing gadgets would be complete without the Apple Newton MessagePad, the personal digital assistant that Apple manufactured in the 1990s. One of Apple’s most notorious flops, the Newton was undoubtedly ahead of its time, but it just didn’t sell. Maybe it was the high price (which peaked at $1,000) or the fact that the Doonesbury comics relentlessly mocked it much as Arrested Development poked fun at the Segway.

Its Scientific Revolution-inspired name (get it? Newton’s Apple?) carried the obvious connotations of discovery, innovation and enlightenment. Unfortunately, this Apple landed on the ground with a thud.

But some still say the Newton’s spirit lives on: in none other form than that of the already-legendary iPhone.

Truemors (true-rumours)

Gadgets aren’t the only tech products susceptible to being disappointments in spite of cool names. Take Truemors, the “social information” (i.e., gossip) site founded by former Apple evangelist Guy Kawasaki: that’s one heck of a clever name, and Kawasaki built up significant buzz thanks to the star power of his name. The concept of the site, like the name, is pretty cool–you can submit tidbits of information, and then Truemors users rank them up or down (a la Digg) based on whether they think the rumors are true.

That’d be all good and fun, except that Truemors was almost immediately swamped by spam, bloggers criticized its lack of focus, and all Kawasaki could seem to talk about was how he’d managed to put the site together on a shoestring budget. (Who cares if it sucks? It was cheap!) Yeah, not so clever there.

Weird name but Success:

Nintendo Wii

And now, for a change of pace, here’s the opposite: a device that achieved whirlwind success despite a stupid name. Nintendo was originally going to call its hotly anticipated next-generation console the Revolution, but surprised the world when it chose the wacky name ‘Wii’ instead. Nintendo executives even acknowledged that people might find it a little bit odd at first. Most people seem to have accepted it by now, and Wiis are still flying off the shelves, but that still doesn’t mean the double “i” can be pretty annoying on occasion.

Thankfully, the name “Wii” has managed to avoid (though not entirely) the seemingly obvious bathroom humor references, but it has nevertheless been rife fodder for terrible puns?like when a New York City bar hosted a Wii Tennis tournament called “Wiimbledon.” And for the record, CNET News.com fully admits to falling into the corny Wii pun trap on occasion.

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